Random Thoughts on Surgery Eve

Cancer centers are super depressing places. Being around so many cancer patients just made me super anxious today.  I am a cancer patient. It still doesn’t seem real. 

The concept of being put under anesthesia for six hours is truly terrifying. It hits you the day before.

I am a control freak. Yes, it’s true. I worked meticulously on a 35-page instruction book for the kids for when I am away…within 3 hours of being gone all my plans and schedules were ruined. The poor babysitter. An early morning trip to the vet urgent care ($500 visit) was involved, as well as one child home sick on the first day of camp. Anyway, when everything went awry, I had a mini breakdown. On the plane.

Leaving the kids was about 500 times harder than I thought it would be.

I haven’t slept since Saturday night. Not a wink. Guess I will have lots of time to catch up later this week.

My positivity plan isn’t working today. Everything seems to be hitting me suddenly and I have been spontaneously crying at weird moments, to strangers and to my poor family all day. (Sorry, guys). Lots of crying. Mark told me to buck up buttercup and it pissed me off but it kind of worked. 🙂

Trying to pull it together. I think I just need sleep. Check in time got changed from 6am to 8am, so there’s that.  Also spoke to the kids and they sounded great so that was awesome.

Dinner tonight with my sister and bro-in-law.  Gonna try to buck up and have a good time.

Here’s to a smooth surgery and good pain meds. Cheers!

 

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3 thoughts on “Random Thoughts on Surgery Eve

  1. Jenn,

    I just read your blog post and I want to run to Houston to give you a great big hug!!! I hate that your friends can’t be with you now – you know we would surround you with positivity, hugs and loads of love! You just need to fast forward through the next 24 hours and be on the other side of this hurdle so you don’t have to think about it any more.

    I can’t wait to hear you are done and that all went well. I do think that’s EXACTLY what we will hear!

    Meanwhile, sending you an abundance of love and strength! May you sail through this with the beautiful smile I picture you with any time I hear about you!

    😘😘😘 S.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  2. You are so amazing! Feeling blessed that you are sharing your journey as reading this entry today has given me strength. I admire and love you. 🦄🌈

    Like

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